Filed under: Surrogacy.
Well here we are, 17 weeks! The baby is the size of a sweet potato now (crown to rump) We are almost half way there. Things are going very well in the pregnancy. I am almost never sick to my stomach but I have encountered a new challenge… I get full very easily! Oh well, it just helps me eat smaller meals throughout the day, like I am suppose to do anyway. I have been waking up like clock work at 3am hungry and wanting cereal. Not good healthy cereal, but the naughty kind of cereal. So I did buy myself some chocolate cheerios. It’s not terrible for me and I get my sweet fix. I’m feeling good and looking forward to finding out the sex of this baby. I have a very strong feeling it’s a girl so I will be surprised if it’s a boy. I know that the babies parents just want a healthy happy baby!! Oh, I almost forgot! I’ve been feeling the baby move for almost a week now. It’s really cool, but it’s also weird.
So, I have some unhappy things to report. So at my 12 week appointment I had blood work done to test for genetic disorders. My doctor talked to me about an ultrasound that can be done to test for down syndrome but unfortunately I didn’t know that I was instructed to get the ultrasound done at that time. I thought I was just doing the blood work, and if the blood work came back with red flags we would get the ultrasound done. Apparently though, I was suppose to go between 12 and 14 weeks and I didn’t. I didn’t even know the name or phone number of where they wanted me to go. So obviously, this is bad! We lost our opportunity to get this very important ultrasound done. Things have been kind of thick around here. It’s such a sad situation because my doctors office is insisting that they gave me a referral to go get this done. I am NOT the type of person to over look a referral or instructions to go get something done. Especially when it is SO important! Not to mention, I’ve been going through this surrogacy process and have had to follow very complicated procedures and medication schedules and I have never forgotten anything. So not only is this a miscommunication between me and my doctor (BIG TIME) but it was also my doctors office responsibility to give me the referral, which they didn’t. So for them to “throw me under the bus” and tell the parents and myself that I was given this referral and that it is my fault is a very sad thing for me. On top of this situation, they have not been very cooperative with the babies parents. They don’t return their phone calls, and when they do get a hold of someone no one will give them information. Even though I signed over consent to both parents, they haven’t been very nice to them. They claim they have no time to talk to them, that they are a very busy office. It’s just all so sad because the parents need and want to be included and they are not being allowed. I LOVE my doctor but obviously with this conflict at hand and the office staff unable to accommodate our unique situation, we will be forced to switch doctors. I’m very sad but I know its the right thing to do. Some advice I have for anyone wanting to be a surrogate is; if your intended parents cannot attend all appointments, request your doctors notes about the appointment. Or take notes yourself. That way there will never be any miscommunication and if you are unclear on what to do you can have stuff in writing. I wish this whole thing had never happened, but all things do happen for a reason. I know that my doctor and her staff believe that they gave me the referral, I don’t think they are trying to lie about it. They see so many patients a day, there are bound to be slip ups. I know the truth, and the parents know the truth. That is all that matters right now!
So where do we go from here? Well, we are switching doctors. The parents are going to pick one that will allow them to participate as much as possible, and that can talk to them about my appointments over the phone. Also, we are going to have a 3D/4D ultrasound done this Saturday to see if there are any obvious disorders. Once that is determined things can get back on track.
I am finally posting a belly picture. I just took it so yes, I am in my Christmas jammies!